How to recognise if there is a negative person in your life.


Let me tell you something, some people really aren't worth it.  When you find yourself making all the effort without getting anything back,  when you somehow always seem like a last resort, when these people somehow bring you down and make you feel horrible inside.  These are the people who are not worth any of it.  And in my 21 years of existence (eeeek) I have met a fair few.  It can be relationships, friends even family.  The people who don't make you happy don't deserve to be in your life.  

I used to have a friend at school who was like this, in fact she was supposed to be my best friend and we were friends for many years (roughly 18 actually).  We were forever falling out and she would call me so many names, always resorting to my weight knowing that that was an issue for me.  Then she would try and start physical fights but when she realised I wasn't a pushover she would get other people involved.  And then the next day she'd realise she'd missed me and she wanted to be my friend again, and me being a silly naive kid let her.  And even when we were friends she would try and bring me down or she herself had so many unnecessary dramas that I was sucked into.  She was just a negative person.  Then at the end of school and afterwards we completely drifted apart, we still spoke but I went off to uni and she stayed at home and we made different friend groups and whatever.  But then recently when I went through my own personal problems and told her about it she was never once there for me, the only time she got in contact was because I was speaking to her ex.  And for me that was the final straw.  

Since then I have seen her bitching about me over twitter (haha) and have heard so from other people which I know myself is silly drama that there is absolutely no need for so I decided to make it stop.  I decided to cut her out.  And that's exactly what I did, I deleted her from all of my social sites, it's not like I saw her in person anyway and we had no other contact so for me it was easy.  Removing her from my social sites was like removing her from my life.  And afterwards it felt so good; relief at not having to think about her, like my energy immediately lifted. 

I mean some of you may read this and think I am a complete bitch or that I acted harshly or that this whole post is about stupid schoolgirl drama, which I suppose it is.  But it was still enough to bring me down all those times at school and even worse when my friend of 18 years wasn't there for me during the hardest time in my life.  

How to recognise if someone in your life is a negative person:

1.  They never seem to bring you up or say nice things to you or encourage you, they always seem to manage to make you feel small.

2.  They complain a hell of a lot.  I mean in my experience they seem to complain even when the stuff that brings them down is so trivial.

3.  They try to boss you around.  You aint nobody's bitch so don't let them treat you that way.  No matter what situation, whether it be big or small if they're telling you what to do and trying to control you then they are not a healthy person to be around.

4.  They're quite sensitive about themselves.  I mean they can say whatever they want to you and expect you to be ok but as soon as you give them some home truths it hurts them deep.

5.  They never seem interested in your life or ask you any questions.  Sometimes you genuinely can forget to ask someone something about their life or how they're getting on but when it's a repeating pattern then something is definitely wrong.

6.  When you spend time with this person and it leaves you feeling unhappy or down then that's the most important sign.  

Reasons why you don't need anymore negativity in your life:

1.  You ARE too fab for their negativity.  You want to be able to enjoy life and be that happy person you want to be. 

2.  You don't need anyone else's drama to bring you down.  I mean seriously we all have enough of our own dramas and our own stuff to deal with we seriously don't need to add someone else's to our list.

3.  Life is far too short to allow these people in.  Ask yourself this, would you rather have a pal you can chat to about anything and have a side-hurting laugh with, or would you rather be with doom and gloom and have someone bring you down.  Life is too short for constant complaining, you need someone who realises how good life can be.

4.  Once you are free from these people you do feel so much lighter.  It's like a relief or a release I'm not sure - but I do know it feels amazing.

5.  Again, you aint nobody's bitch so you don't expect to be treated like one.  If the shoe was on the other foot you know they'd kick off.

6.  You deserve a relationship - whether it be a friendship or whatever - that makes you feel good and have someone reciprocate your interest.

So my advice to you is:

Be strong.  If there is someone like this in your life don't let them walk all over you like I did for so many years.  

Look after yourself, sometimes you need to be selfish, especially when the people involved are being selfish anyway.  

Maybe take a break from seeing that person so frequently and see if the space does you any good or makes you feel any better.  Or confront them and tell them how you feel and how they make you feel, there may be a chance that you can salvage your relationship with them?  Or do what I did and cut them out of your life.  

Whichever way you chose you need to be the one to change it, or you'll be stuck in the situition for a long time feeling like a piece of crap for a long time and I know you don't deserve it.  In reality it's just a part of life, and no matter how hard you try not to you'll still find negative people, but that doesn't mean they have to have an effect on your life.

And last but not least recognise the people in your life who you should feel grateful for.  And this isn't always easy and even now sometimes it takes me too long to differentiate the good people in my life from the bad.  But hey like I said it's just a part of life.

So please take care of yourself and until next time,

Love, Lauren x

Photo from pinterest.